When She Cries
by slowrabbits
Summary: Her mascara bled onto his shirt but he didn't mind much because she was finally asleep again.


**When** **She** **Cries**

by _slowrabbits_

* * *

_And I die a little each time_

_When she cries_

* * *

His eyes burned and his head ached.

The moon was out and through the open windows it reached out its pearly beams of moonlight, casting ominous shadows into various parts of the room. The chilly wind blew, but no one could be bothered to get up and shut the windows. Most of Konoha's residents slept quietly that night, save for a few who were kept up either by nightmares of worries that came hand in hand with their duty to the village.

It was promptly one in the morning and the early hour saw Shikamaru Nara on his living room sofa, seated in front of a pile of scrolls and a bunch of folders. Caffeine pumped through his system like blood so even though his mind screamed for rest, his body mercilessly stayed awake. He was tired, and there was nothing more that he wanted than to join his girlfriend in bed, but he knew that her sleep would be tumultuous; as his would be, if he tried for it. He was well aware of what awaited him should he succumb to sleep's lulling claws: nightmares and bad memories that melded so well together in a terrifying medley until he couldn't tell which was which. Sleep was always bad this time of the year, not just for him, but for the rest of Team 10 also. Luckily enough, Choji was bundled up in his own lover's arms this time, hopefully knocked out and without the dreams to bother him. And should he ever wake in cold sweat, there would be someone who would whisper deluded comfort into his ear; someone who didn't know what horrors they'd had to go through.

It was different for Ino and Shikamaru who couldn't provide each other those whispers of deluded comfort. Because they did know those horrors and they knew better than pretend that it didn't happen. It had been two years since The Incident and it was almost an unspoken tradition that Shikamaru and Ino stayed up together, since neither could fall into peaceful slumber anyway.

But Ino thought she'd break tradition this time around. A few hours ago, she had pulled on softer bedclothes (an old shirt of his, actually) and taken her hair out of its high tail. In a small voice, she'd asked if he was going to come to bed. He only shook his head and watched her disappear into the darkness of his bedroom.

Yes, Shikamaru would admit that there was a part of him shamefully awaiting his girlfriend's imminent waking. He didn't want to brave this night alone, and he was much too wary to join her under the sheets. He was bone tired, miserable and lonely. But soon she would wake and seek him out.

* * *

(_It_ _didn_'_t_ _take_ _long_.)

"Shika," came a drowsy voice from the mouth of the hallway. Surely enough, Ino stood there, a trembling hand clutched between her breasts. In his ratty, old shirt and boy-cut panties, she still managed to look like a goddess. Softly, she padded over to him, her steps gentle- but it resounded in his cold, quiet apartment like the heartbeat that roared against his eardrums. The scrolls and the folders and the eye-crossing mission reports were shoved all the way in a back corner of his mind now. The sensory overload that was Ino's presence always demanded a lot (if not all) of his attention, and while inconvenient at times, it was greatly appreciated now, when he needed (craved) her distraction.

"You're right," she remarked as she straddled him on the sofa, soft locks of silky, flaxen hair surrounding them. "I couldn't sleep."

Baby blue eyes that still managed to twinkle bore into his red-rimmed dark ones conveying so much of her sadness that he felt his heart break just a little bit more. Lightly,he raised a hand to brush away the strands of hair that fell over her eyes, an act which he hoped would give her a small comfort and let her know that he was here for her, as she was for him. That tender gesture alone was enough to make her eyes glaze over with tears before she burrowed her face into his chest and allowed a sob to escape her lips.

"He dies every time, Shikamaru." she croaked out. He barely managed to hear her, but he didn't need to know what she was saying anyway, since the regrets she voiced were always of the same context. "I couldn't heal him and he still smiled at me in the end."

Honestly, he knew not what to do for her at times like this. She always said that just by staying with her, he was helping her, but he doubted he was a sufficent balm for her hurts. It had been two years and still he didn't have a strategy for dealing with sadness. He wondered if he was making it worse sometimes with his tendency to brush off her sorrow because talking about it, dwelling on it hurt _him_).

If only grief came with an instruction manual, he pondered wistfully.

But he didn't have time to brood in his thoughts now. He had a lapful of crying blonde and he couldn't use his usual brusqueness to deal with her. So slowly, he rubbed between her shoulder blades and prepared to wait out the deluge of misery pouring out of her.

"You know its not your fault, right?" he asked gruffly, knowing that it wouldn't help a bit. Sometmes, Ino had once told him, blaming someone was an effective way to cope. Even if the person she was blaming was herself. He couldn't say he disagreed. He also preferred the controlled self-loathing to the unstable grief that could drive a man mad.

Eventually, she exhausted herself with her tears and gentle sobbing. Somehow his hand ended up under her (_his_) shirt, rubbing small circles on the base of her spine. Her mascara bled onto his shirt (_it would stain and be a bitch to get out_) but he didn't mind much because she was finally asleep again,

* * *

(_And for the first time, he would sleep on this day, too._)

* * *

**AN**: I intended to post this some time between Ino and Shikamaru's birthday (which was the same weekend of my bithday too lol) but I procrastinated and only finished this now during Chemistry lecture. This is a thank you for the people who left reviews on my other ShikaIno ficlets because they made me feel really great and inspired.


End file.
